Kellan James

First day of school!

2011-09-13T17:18:00.001-07:00

Maddy started 2nd grade, and Kiernan started Kindergarten!

Words

2011-09-13T17:11:00.000-07:00

Buh bye
Hi
Milo
mama
daddy
cook
baba
potty
peepee
ear
eye
Maddy
diaper
wipes
NO
night night

He knows where body parts are, throws away things when asked, goes to the potty when asked, waves, and blows kisses.

Words!

2011-05-05T16:51:00.000-07:00

Milo (lilo)
Hi
mama
dada
lilalo (I love you)
dog
baba (bottle)

Talking!

2011-05-03T14:31:00.001-07:00

He says, "hi hi hi hi hi" while holding his phone to his ear, waves and says "hi" to everyone. He asks, "what's that" like "wutzat," and he's blowing kisses and saying, "muah" now! So adorable :) 15 months 2 weeks 6 days.

Happy birthday!

2011-01-17T21:24:00.000-08:00

He's ONE! Stuffed his face with chocolate frosting. Messy but CUTE!

Well hello there!

2010-11-03T09:34:00.000-07:00

Kellan just came walking down the hallway by himself! 9m3w!

Walking more

2010-10-29T22:07:00.000-07:00

He took two steps by himself yesterday! Kiernan was 9.5 months when he started walking, but Kellan's heavier than Kiernan was. He'll be running soon!

Kiernan's 5th birthday is tomorrow! ...as is Halloween. Kiernan's Superman, Madeline will be a black cat, and I'm going to try to stuff Kellan in the bee costume that ALL of the kids wore :D Poor Maddy didn't have much of a Halloween in 2005, but she got a brother!

Walking

2010-10-12T20:19:00.001-07:00

He's walking as long as I have one hand. 9 months tomorrow! Where has the time gone? He has 2 more teeth coming in for a total of 6, and he's over 20 pounds. Found out he loves sour cream and chives mashed potatoes, too :D

2010-09-30T08:47:00.000-07:00

STANDING!

Calling us names

2010-09-30T08:46:00.000-07:00

He's calling mama and Jason dada as of today!

Running around

2010-08-27T17:03:00.001-07:00

Kellan's all over the place. He's running around the house as long as he's holding on to furniture. I wonder when he'll let go. He's almost 20 pounds now, still won't say "dada," and he looks a LOT like his sister when she was his age. He likes to blow raspberries, and his top right tooth is barely poking through.

I saw him!

2010-08-12T16:24:00.000-07:00

I saw him pull up today! Over and over, he pulled up to the couch. What a big boy!

YAY

2010-08-08T12:42:00.001-07:00

He pulled up on the couch for the first time today. He's been really close, but he's been unable to pull his second fat leg around until now! Of course I missed it because I was sleeping :( I'll have to catch it on video. This video of him yelling mama and possibly saying "I love mama" will have to do for now. It was from a couple days ago. 6m3w

Mama

2010-07-23T19:45:00.000-07:00

He said mama the other day, and I thought it was a fluke. He's been saying it for ME though, and he's very proud of himself!

Crawling baby!

2010-07-11T15:47:00.000-07:00

He crawled yesterday! AND his two bottom front teeth popped through his gums and bled a bit. Today they're swollen, so you can't feel them much. Dude's got a snotty nose and a cough. So does Kiernan. Poor kids.

LURCH

2010-06-23T08:41:00.000-07:00

I just caught him in his crib on his hands and knees lurching forward! He'll be crawling soon! (oh no)

Toes!

2010-06-01T18:17:00.000-07:00

This kid loves his toes. Loves 'em so much he keeps taking off his socks! Today we had sweet potatoes, and he downed the whole jar. Yummo!

The garden is coming along in the backyard. We have onions, lettuce, tomatoes, a watermelon (very small right now), carrots, corn, and green beans. I can't wait to make some purees for Kellan!

He sits!

2010-05-22T12:31:00.001-07:00

4 months and 9 days! He's sitting! Woohoo!

4 months!

2010-05-13T09:08:00.000-07:00

He finally rolled front to back the other day. He's been rolling back to front for a while now. He's 15 pounds and super cute!

Madeline got her ears pierced yesterday for her 6th birthday. My little girl is growing up :(

FOOD!

2010-04-23T14:05:00.000-07:00

He had his first rice cereal today! He did great!! Now he's napping. Ahhhh full belly :)

hehehehehehe

2010-04-02T11:28:00.001-07:00

It's official. He's ticklish. He giggled when I tickled him instead of the usual grunt. Too cute!

Stats

2010-03-15T10:47:00.000-07:00

11.5 lbs 55%
24 inches 85%
Dr. said I could start him on rice cereal soon because he swallowed so well for her, but I'll wait a couple more months. He got two shots, cried for <5 secs and then SMILED! Tough guy.

Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'

2010-03-13T11:16:00.000-08:00

He rolled from tummy to back! Happy 2 months, cutie pie!

Real deal

2010-02-16T06:53:00.001-08:00

He smiled!

Milk

2010-02-12T08:21:00.001-08:00

Dude gobbled down 6oz this morning about 2 hours after I nursed him (not long). That's a lot, and he's only 4 weeks old. But yay for me: I pumped 3oz while he was sleeping! I'm making a little more than I used to, but I'm going to get fenugreek and Mother's Milk Tea today to boost my supply. I have school and work now, so I can't nurse him. I really want a supply on hand for Jason to use. Formula is expensive!

4 weeks!

2010-02-10T08:53:00.000-08:00

Kellan is 4 weeks old today. His umbilical cord came off this past week, so he got his first bath! He's awake more during the day and stronger. He has a little bit of acne or rash. Maddy had a really bad one on her face for a couple months :( Now she has eczema. I hope his isn't as bad. My face is gross, too. His eyes are still blue/purple, but so were my other brown-eyed boy's for the first YEAR. Now Kiernan's eyes are as brown as mine :) We're in the middle of a snow storm... again. Actually, it's been updated to a blizzard. Terrific. I'm just thankful that we didn't have to go to the hospital to have Kellan during this weather. My parents were here for his birth, although he came via c-section after he turned breech so Grandma didn't get to see the birth. I really wanted her to see him born, but I'm done having kids :( My babies are blessings no matter how they entered the world. They're absolutely beautiful, and I thank God that I was given these 3 out of 8.

He's here!

2010-01-14T19:51:00.001-08:00

After laboring all day, my water was broken shortly after 11pm and the MW discovered that he had turned breech during the day after being head down for 8 weeks. The Dr was called in, and I got a c/s with a tubal ligation. Kellan James arrived at 12:23am on his daddy's 33rd birthday, weighing in at only 7lb 2.8oz despite having gestational diabetes. His blood sugars have been great, and he's peeing and pooping a LOT. He looks just like his mommy! YAY!

Induction time!

2010-01-08T16:47:00.000-08:00

Since I'm on meds, I'm not allowed to go over my due date.
Baby No Name Guy will join us soon! I'll be induced with a cook catheter and pit on Tuesday, 1/12. I'm excited and scared.

Getting closer.

2010-01-06T11:56:00.000-08:00

Mom and dad are here! Let the labor commence. Had contractions 3-4 min apart for about an hour this morning, but they petered out. I can't put my knees together anymore. The pressure down there is terrible. Walking is rough, and I'm scheduled to work this weekend.
NST on Friday. The NST nurse seems to think they'll attempt an induction after my appt on the 8th since I'm on glyburide now and he's not looking completely perfect on the NSTs. I wish I could just go into labor on my own, but he's measuring over 40 weeks already, and placentas die sooner when you have GD. I just want to meet him!

ouch

2009-12-21T19:26:00.000-08:00

back cramps
pain in the front of my legs
cervix feels like it's been rammed hard
hips pulling apart
sharp back pains from weight
broken blood vessels in my chest (coughing all night)
lost a little mucus plug last night while coughing my lungs up

36w1d appt.

2009-12-18T10:31:00.001-08:00

Measuring the same as 2 weeks ago. Hopefully that just means he's engaged a bit into my pelvis. Sure feels like it! I'm waddling now from the hip pain. HB's 125, weight's down 2 pounds from last appt, B/P's 132/72 after struggling with Kiernan to sit for a second, urine's "perfect," cervix is still "closed at the top and kinda thick," and my GBS test is done!

My appt today was in the same room as my last appt with E. I got ready to step into the same room where the Dr blew me off when I told him I was cramping and spotting 16 weeks into my pregnancy and got uneasy. I know it has nothing to do with the room, BUT it brought back bad memories.

36 weeks

2009-12-17T19:06:00.001-08:00

Lovin' those stretchmarks. Thanks, Maddy!

Weight

2009-12-14T10:47:00.000-08:00

I weigh the same as I did 6 weeks ago. Hmmm. I was **2.6 at my 32 week appt, **7.0 at my 34 week appt, and now back down to **6.4 today. That's a 17 pound weight gain so far. Not bad. Hope he's growing well!

Contractions

2009-12-12T17:46:00.000-08:00

I've been contracting often all day. No mucus plug. Some are in my back. Sharp lower abdominal pains, too. I have to go to work now, and I'm freaked out about having my baby in someone's home in the middle of the night! I hope I make it (and the contractions stop). I'm either 35w3d or 36w4d today.

OY

2009-12-04T08:51:00.000-08:00

34 weeks:

measuring 35.5
B/P 126/78
up to 207 this morning :(
dilated a bit, but wasn't measured there - just saw with speculum
fasting blood sugar this AM was 124. Not good. Stick to the diet, lady!
cervix stabbing pains normal

Next appt 36 weeks to get pelvic and GBS. WOOT :(

2009-11-30T16:14:00.001-08:00

No more food diary!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

u/s today!

2009-11-24T10:57:00.000-08:00

4lb11oz and head down! His head is huge, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. He looks like his older brother and has REALLY fat cheeks :)

ugh still

2009-11-23T15:41:00.001-08:00

The day you deliver, outside will be sunny. Your baby will arrive in the early afternoon. After a labor lasting approximately 14 hours, your child, a boy, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 13 pounds, 5 ounces, and will be 17 inches long. This child will have light amber eyes and some black hair.

Could be. I'm spilling protein, have GDB, and I'm convinced I won't deliver until I'm 42 weeks if I go into labor naturally.

32 week appt.

2009-11-20T09:27:00.000-08:00

LMP: 32w1d
U/S: 33wks
Measurement today: 34 weeks!
HR: 117
Weight gain: 13.6 pounds total (4 pounds lost in last 2 weeks)

May or may not be breech. U/S on Tuesday!

2009-11-13T13:40:00.000-08:00

sick of sick

2009-11-13T13:36:00.000-08:00

Maddy had a temp of 104.1 with a cough and finally got better in time for Kiernan to get a temp of 104.5 with a cough. They finally got over that... then Maddy woke up today with a runny nose, and Kiernan's temp is 102! What's up??!! I'm so sick of sick.

Ugh

2009-10-29T08:04:00.000-07:00

Failed my 3 hour. I have gestational diabetes. Meeting with the dietician and nurse tomorrow to get meal plans and monitoring crap. Fun!
no fat
no carbs
no nothing

GTT

2009-10-27T14:09:00.001-07:00

I failed the 1 hour, so I'm going for my 3 hour tomorrow. I failed the first one with Maddy, too, but I've been convinced since day one that I would get GD.
Also, my gall bladder (?) hurts like hell. I'll try to get back to the Dr when Kiernan's over the swine flu!

25 week u/s

2009-10-02T06:57:00.000-07:00

Head measuring a week ahead, abdomen measuring a week behind, femur measuring 2 days ahead.
The u/s tech measured something small in the brain, but I don't know what it was. The Drs weren't in, so I have to wait for a phone call or my next visit. Great.

sick

2009-09-11T05:53:00.000-07:00

Sore throat
Stuffy nose
Cough

Everyone in the fam is sick :(

awww

2009-09-10T07:16:00.000-07:00

I'm being entertained by my wiggling belly :)

ER

2009-09-08T07:36:00.000-07:00

Called my OB after pooping blood, and she told me to go to the ER. I hadn't gone in a week, so they took care of that, but I still have abdominal pain. Ugh.

Ouch

2009-09-04T14:54:00.000-07:00

Dull waves of pain in my lower abdomen. No back pain. They don't feel like BH, and they don't feel like birth ctx. So sleepy today, and I can't eat. Too early for this.

Woot!

2009-09-04T08:34:00.001-07:00

Jason felt the baby last night. I think he was a little surprised. First time he talked to the baby :)

21 weeks

2009-09-01T19:26:00.001-07:00

I felt a kick this evening that brought tears to my eyes. Not because it hurt, but because he kicked my fingers and it felt like a very small foot. So real. Wow.

20 week appt.

2009-08-28T16:20:00.000-07:00

The MW was so funny. She had me lay back and was shocked by the bowling ball sticking out of my belly. It's pretty obvious where my uterus is, I guess :)
I'm having cramps lower front and back, so she told me to stop doing so much. How do you do less than sit on the couch all day? This should be fun.

U/S!

2009-08-27T07:34:00.000-07:00

I had a very thorough u/s today, and baby boy is healthy! He was having PACs during the u/s, but I was assured that it's completely normal at this stage because that part of the brain responsible for the HB isn't fully developed yet. He's 12 oz and measuring 3 days bigger than expected! I called him a fatass :)

PVCs

2009-08-23T14:03:00.001-07:00

Just like mama.
I have to lay off the caffeine :(
Little man's got them, too.
NOT completely unusual in the second trimester.
Could disappear in the third trimester or shortly after birth.
I HOPE that's all it is.

Kicks!

2009-08-22T13:31:00.000-07:00

He's gotten much stronger over the past week! I don't need to depend on the doppler since he's moving around soooo much. I love it!

Finnegan James

2009-08-14T07:12:00.001-07:00

Last night, at our gender u/s, we discovered that we're having another boy! As soon as the tech quickly passed through the legs, I knew and gasped... "I know what that is! It's a boy!" I was instantly flooded with memories of being pregnant with my last boy and unfounded fears that somehow the gender had a role in his demise. So far, his name is Finnegan James or "Finn," and he was shadow boxing for his older siblings to see. Maddy and Kie watched on a giant movie screen, and they were pretty excited! Kiernan insists that the baby's name is Dorchet and told all of the staff. It is NOT Dorchet, but he can call his little brother by that name if he wants :) Another snuggle buddy! WOOT!

CONGRATS!

2009-08-14T07:11:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to my friends! A 9 pound baby boy entered the world last night to begin an awesome life with the best parents. What a lucky little boy!!

Baby Watch 2009

2009-08-13T10:19:00.001-07:00

Awaiting Noname's (formerly Jesus H.) arrival. I'm so excited for my friends! They'll finally be parents today! I have no doubt they'll be awesome at parenting. They're very loving, and they're two of the very few people I let watch my children. I'm a paranoid parent, but I trust them completely.
Tonight I find out if baby Noname will have a little boyfriend or little girlfriend to play with in January. So exciting!

Another u/s scheduled

2009-08-11T09:36:00.000-07:00

Level 2 u/s scheduled for 8/27 (20 weeks) to check heart, placenta and cord! I hope it thickens up and stops kinking!!

Uh oh

2009-08-10T14:37:00.000-07:00

For the past couple days, I've noticed that the baby's heartbeat slows from 140 to anywhere from 0-80. I called the Dr, and they sent over my info to Maternal Fetal Medicine. They'll call me to schedule a level 2 u/s. I think it's cord compression... so... what happens if the cord is wrapped around the baby and then the baby grows? What happens if the baby doesn't get off the cord? Will there be brain damage if the baby makes it to birth? Why so difficult?

U/S

2009-08-06T08:09:00.000-07:00

The tech was stupid and didn't check bloodflow through the cord or heart, didn't check kidneys, and didn't bother to look at gender, saying that it's too early to find out. No it's not. I cried to the MW and got another appt for an u/s in 4 weeks. I know the baby had a working heart and brain, so that's good.

Disappointed

2009-08-03T14:31:00.000-07:00

I was supposed to have my big u/s in the morning, but the office called to reschedule. BOOOOHOOOO! I'm going in on Thursday. Too bad I work Wednesday night (after getting no sleep). I'll be loopy and won't remember much :(

BH

2009-07-28T08:08:00.000-07:00

So I forgot to drink a ton of water and had horrid BH last night. My husband thought this was a good time to get down. Um no. I'd also been up for 30 hours and was in bed. Bad timing, dude.

2009-07-15T14:33:00.000-07:00

Stomach cramps, BH and diarrhea, oh my!

U/S!

2009-07-10T12:58:00.000-07:00

My Dr. asked me if I wanted to come in every 2 weeks now instead of every 4. I declined. No point in it really. What would they do? She said I could go in to hear the HB any time I felt unsure in this pregnancy. She's awesome (and doesn't know that I have a doppler). HB's 160-166 today, and he's/she's on my right side. She said I'll have an u/s on 8/4 to check cervix length (d/t previous LEEP) and get the anatomy checked! That's 3.5 weeks from now!! I'll be 16w5d, but I think the baby will measure right on 16 weeks. I hope it's a healthy one!

Telling the Fams

2009-06-25T08:48:00.001-07:00

I just sent this movie to the families. I hope they get it soon. ACK! I hate keeping secrets.

Doppler

2009-06-19T14:17:00.000-07:00

I got my doppler today, and I freaked out a bit because I couldn't hear anything. I thought my uterus was at my pubic bone (like the books say), so I put it just above and pointed downward... nothing. Moved it all around... nothing. eek
I emptied my bladder and tried again. SOOOO happy to hear a heartbeat at 176BPM about 2 inches above my pubic bone and to the right of my midline!
http://s155.photobucket.com/albums/s291/jessieguy182/?action=view&current=Video21.flv
YIPPEE!

YAY!

2009-06-18T15:08:00.001-07:00

Email message:

Thank you for your BellyBeats order! Your order was shipped via FedEx 2-Day Express June 17th, and is scheduled for delivery Friday, June 19th.

Dear God

2009-06-18T09:34:00.000-07:00

The day you deliver, outside will be misty. Your baby will arrive in the early evening. After a labor lasting approximately 6 hours, your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 15 pounds, 1 ounces, and will be 18 inches long. This child will have medium gray eyes and a little patch of black hair.

OMG 15 pounds!!!!!!!! I sense tearing.

hmmm

2009-06-18T06:56:00.000-07:00

Not so sick yesterday and today, but I'm not exactly 100%. I ordered a doppler, and it should be here Friday or Saturday. I can't wait! I want to make sure baby's healthy. I hope the m/s comes back a bit :)

What's the deal with my belly?

2009-06-11T14:50:00.003-07:00

I look 4-5 months today!

HEARTBURN

2009-06-11T14:50:00.001-07:00

one Tum left :(

They don't listen!

2009-06-08T17:31:00.000-07:00

My children are NOT cooperating with bedtime. "I want a sippy cup!" You're 3.5 years old and just had a glass of milk. NO. "I want someone to sleep with me!" You're 5, and the light in your room is on. Stop acting scared. You're not scared. You're bored. "I want to be rocked." You want to watch TV. They act like I'm new to these games!

Things changed

2009-06-02T09:41:00.000-07:00

Definitely feeling pregnant today. Foods that are gross:
pork loin
ground turkey
chocolate
milk products
TUMS

Jason laughed his butt off when I told him my newest problem. In all of 8 pregnancies, this is new. I have heartburn (not new), take TUMS, and TUMS make me nauseous! Jason said, "Hahahahaha this kid is AWESOME!" I'll take the heartburn and nausea. I love being pregnant.

Nervous

2009-05-30T06:39:00.000-07:00

I'm not feeling pregnant. I swear I had more symptoms a couple weeks ago. I don't feel the pulling pains anymore, don't have frequent urination, not sick to my stomach, but I AM still gassy. My breasts aren't sore, but my nipples are a little bit. Man, I want a healthy baby.

u/s update

2009-05-23T10:17:00.000-07:00

U/S showed a yolk sac, thick lining, nice shaped gestational sac. I thought I was 5w5d, but I'm measuring 5 weeks. I KNOW I was at least 5w1d. U/Ss can be off by 4 days either way, so I'll try to calm down. The tech looked for a heartbeat and didn't see anything. There looks to be a baby starting there, but it's really small. I go back on 6/5 to see if there's growth.

In other news, Jason and I watched The Business of Being Born, and I think we've decided on a homebirth this time! The hospital is pretty close to us, so we can get there if something goes wrong. I'm excited, but there aren't many midwives to choose from here. Research time!

ugh

2009-05-21T13:13:00.000-07:00

First hcg 4,861

48hours later 7,778

It's doubling every 2.9 days according to justmommies.com

I was really hoping for 10,000. The nurse got on the phone with me, had talked with the u/s tech and decided they could fit me in after lunch.

Jason's taking the day off.

Tomorrow's plan:
7am - get my TB test read
8am - interview with Links2Care and take nursing tests
11am - lunch
12am - head to u/s and wait and wait and wait and wait...

Idiot

2009-05-17T16:50:00.000-07:00

Idiot nurse didn't fax my lab slip to the lab, so I went there for nothing. I'll call her tomorrow to tell her she's a dumbass.

Called the Dr today

2009-05-15T07:58:00.000-07:00

No problems... just voiced my concern about my history. I'm getting a quantitative hcg tomorrow, so I'll call for those results on Monday. The triage nurse said that I'll have an u/s once it reaches 10,000. So that's around... um... 6 weeks or so.

today's happenings

2009-05-14T12:30:00.000-07:00

I got an interview with an agency on Monday and another interview on Friday. I need to get my TB test from the clinic, get my OBGYN records for a physical with a new Dr, cancel an OBGYN appt since I have two, and try to relax. I'm feeling bubbles in my belly, and it's kinda weird. Obviously, nothing's kicking yet, but fertility friend thinks I'm 5w6d today instead of 4. My Dr's office is lame, and I don't know when I'll get an u/s. Nevermind that I had two ectopics. Guess I'll wait til July.

symptoms of the day

2009-05-13T17:27:00.000-07:00

nausea after chocolate ice cream and/or apples
fatigue in the afternoons
back cramps
soft cervix!
mild heartburn
sensitive nose

Enjoying every day

2009-05-13T07:39:00.001-07:00

Even though today brings diarrhea :)

HCG

2009-05-12T20:20:00.000-07:00

Qualitative hcg was positive!
Nausea is coming infrequently and in small waves after dairy mostly.
No BB pain.
Peeing a little more often today.
Set up my first appt. for 6/5/09, but I'm not sure I want to bother with them anymore. I had two very bad experiences with them. I'd rather have a midwife and home birth or birth center birth. I'll have to see if our crappy insurance covers them. Jason said that I can have the baby however I'd like if I carry this one to term! I love him.

well well well

2009-05-10T07:09:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day to me! The test I took this morning with FMU isn't as dark, so that worries me some, but Jason thinks it's the same. I'm still a little nauseous, left nip is slightly more sensitive, breasts don't hurt, and farting since yesterday (omg it won't stop). I'd love to start puking any day now. I'm thinking I'm 12dpo now, which would make my due date 1/19/09. I'll call the Dr some time. I'm not in a hurry after the lack of care I got the last two times. "There's nothing we can do for you at this point. Call us when you miscarry."
Leaving this in God's hands...

hmm

2009-05-09T07:04:00.000-07:00

I woke up feeling okay, and my temp's come back up. I ate breakfast, and now I'm slightly nauseous again. I DO get too excited every month, and then I get too disappointed. I'll try to calm myself down. Time will tell...

so...

2009-05-08T13:50:00.000-07:00

Here I sit, nauseous as hell, trying to figure out if it's from pregnancy or lack of sleep. I worked a long shift last night, but I got a few hours of sleep already today. When I left work, my temp was 99.1. After my nap, it was 98.1, and I was freezing. I'm seriously trying to hold back the puking. I have heartburn, too. Maybe I'm just really tired. I guess I'll know more tomorrow. The only thing that makes me think it's not a baby is my CM. I'm getting my typical pre-AF wetness. MMMMM Yummo. I'd love a due date of 1/16 with DH's birthday on 1/13 and MIL's bday on 1/20! Ahhh a girl can dream, right?

It Never Fails

2009-04-25T13:34:00.000-07:00

He always picks fights with me or has a shitty attitude when I'm ovulating. Guess who doesn't want to have sex with an ass. ME! Ugh. It seems like this happens with every cycle.

4/23

2009-04-23T15:24:00.000-07:00

Today is Ezra's due date. I'm sad but thankful for my other little ones. I still see everything baby related and get pissed off. I still miss him every day. I still feel empty. I don't know why things happen the way they do. I just hope that God has a better plan for my future.

4/21

2009-04-21T08:54:00.000-07:00

Ezra is supposed to be due in two days. I can't help being sad, and I find myself clenching my jaw often. I now have no doubt that the headaches I've been dealing with since 3/31 are directly related to stress and anguish. I'm absolutely overwhelmed, and I don't know what to do.

BULLSHIT

2009-04-09T10:02:00.000-07:00

Never late unless I'm pregnant?
Not anymore.
Cramping and bleeding now.
Next time I O will be Ezra's due date.
You can bet your ass I won't be in the mood.
I'm already dreading it.

13dpo

2009-04-06T17:29:00.001-07:00

My webcam sucks.

9dpo

2009-04-02T05:27:00.001-07:00

Symptoms:
none

4th cycle after Ezra

2009-04-01T09:59:00.000-07:00

Currently 8dpo. Headtoms:
headache
that is all

2009-03-24T06:46:00.001-07:00

still waiting to O?

2009-03-20T08:45:00.000-07:00

Foot still hurts and looks terrible, but it's better than it was last week. I'm waiting to O again, my friend found out what she's having today (YAY!), and I'm sending in tons of paperwork for school/financial aid (ha!)/loans.

CD3

2009-03-11T08:28:00.000-07:00

AF's here and pissed off. It's not bad enough that I broke my foot?

sad

2009-03-06T10:28:00.001-08:00

Today's another crying day. I organized my pics in this computer and had to see Ezra's face over and over. ...after getting another BFN. I really wanted a baby before Ezra's birthday, but that's not going to happen now. I can hardly eat I'm so depressed. I'm going to have to find a Dr to give me some Paxil. I can't handle this.

2009-03-06T07:40:00.000-08:00

NOPE :(

Negative

2009-03-04T08:18:00.000-08:00

8dpo negative test :(

symptoms = headtoms

2009-03-03T11:30:00.000-08:00

Heartburn (just ate chili)
Sharp/throbbing pains in boobs
headaches (i'm stressed)
cramps on left side (could be intestinal)
nausea after I eat
sensitive nose (or really stinky house)
painful ball in my stomach (ulcer)
fatigue (can't explain this one)
super hunger
constipation (reason for nausea?)
and that 7dpo faint line

Jason's test isn't back yet!

7dpo

2009-03-03T08:28:00.000-08:00

7dpo- evap or no?